The indecisive One
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Spam! Here's a wonderful spam message on my gmail account:
from: Grover Herbert
subject: Re [2] - on that? Beanie Babies Genealogy Alabama Martha Stewart why do
"Beanie Babies Genealogy" ?!
Haha..
from: Grover Herbert
subject: Re [2] - on that? Beanie Babies Genealogy Alabama Martha Stewart why do
"Beanie Babies Genealogy" ?!
Haha..
Friday, January 20, 2006
WHY DOES MY BLOG SPACE LIKE THAT?? If anyone knows anything about html blog lay outs.. please help me. Before I hurt something..
~!+.+!~
~!+.+!~
I'm glad I wrote something like 'life's a roller coaster, I'll be glad I've been through it all' or whatever I wrote last time.. because I'm feeling like crap today. >_<
I went to the library yesterday (it was the second time I've ever been to the one down here) and got a few books. One of them being: Arousal. The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies. That's a link to the book.. I started reading it last night, but couldn't really concentrate. So, I was reading it today. I'm finding out stuff about myself, which is really great. I haven't thought about what makes me tick in quite a while.
Only.. that's not so great. It brought to light that I've been unhappy with things lately, and I don't really want to face that.. =o(
Ahh.. change.. "The only thing constant in life is change." "If you can expect anything, you can expect change." Blah! BLAH, I TELL YOU!!
~~~~~
In other news.. I got to hear a voice I hadn't heard in a while. While in the library, I remembered I got the privilege of borrowing books from R----- in high school. I wanted to read one of those books again, so I called him up and left a message. I turned my phone on silent in the library and missed his call back.. =o( But he said I could call anytime tomorrow (today!). I probably won't take him up on that offer because I'm feeling pretty shitey, but the book is Vurt by Jeff Noon. The link is a review of the book. I didn't read it entirely.. but skimmed it. It sounded like an alright review. There is an official Vurt website, so.. that link there will take you to it. <3
~~~~~
This morning I was dreaming a kinda weird dream.. Badru was trying to go to sleep in his room, and there were two other people in there besides him.. and I kept him awake, talking. When I finally went to leave him alone so he could sleep.. it was being to be light out, and it was understood that he wouldn't be sleeping with the light. So, we decided he should turn into a squid, and I would swallow him, and he could sleep in my stomach, in the dark, until he was rested. So, I swallowed him. And then there was some panic about whether that was a good idea or not.. Because what if my stomach acids were eating him? I tried to comfort myself with the false confidence of they wouldn't, why would I have the idea in the first place if it wasn't safe? Gladly, I woke up before I began inducing vomiting.. My dreams have been rather lucid lately, and I really wouldn't want to wake up gagging myself and barfing on Jason.
It was good to see Badru, though.. I miss him.
I went to the library yesterday (it was the second time I've ever been to the one down here) and got a few books. One of them being: Arousal. The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies. That's a link to the book.. I started reading it last night, but couldn't really concentrate. So, I was reading it today. I'm finding out stuff about myself, which is really great. I haven't thought about what makes me tick in quite a while.
Only.. that's not so great. It brought to light that I've been unhappy with things lately, and I don't really want to face that.. =o(
Ahh.. change.. "The only thing constant in life is change." "If you can expect anything, you can expect change." Blah! BLAH, I TELL YOU!!
~~~~~
In other news.. I got to hear a voice I hadn't heard in a while. While in the library, I remembered I got the privilege of borrowing books from R----- in high school. I wanted to read one of those books again, so I called him up and left a message. I turned my phone on silent in the library and missed his call back.. =o( But he said I could call anytime tomorrow (today!). I probably won't take him up on that offer because I'm feeling pretty shitey, but the book is Vurt by Jeff Noon. The link is a review of the book. I didn't read it entirely.. but skimmed it. It sounded like an alright review. There is an official Vurt website, so.. that link there will take you to it. <3
~~~~~
This morning I was dreaming a kinda weird dream.. Badru was trying to go to sleep in his room, and there were two other people in there besides him.. and I kept him awake, talking. When I finally went to leave him alone so he could sleep.. it was being to be light out, and it was understood that he wouldn't be sleeping with the light. So, we decided he should turn into a squid, and I would swallow him, and he could sleep in my stomach, in the dark, until he was rested. So, I swallowed him. And then there was some panic about whether that was a good idea or not.. Because what if my stomach acids were eating him? I tried to comfort myself with the false confidence of they wouldn't, why would I have the idea in the first place if it wasn't safe? Gladly, I woke up before I began inducing vomiting.. My dreams have been rather lucid lately, and I really wouldn't want to wake up gagging myself and barfing on Jason.
It was good to see Badru, though.. I miss him.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
"Love is blind, but lust has impressive sonar."
--RKMilholland
I just read this at the bottom of a Something Positive comic. Awesome statement.
--RKMilholland
I just read this at the bottom of a Something Positive comic. Awesome statement.
Well.. it's been close to a month since my long post about the difficulties between Jason and I.
And I'm happy to say that things have taken a step up! There are twinges of things that I said in the previous post still happening.. but over all, we're doing much better.
I've been super aggravated and antsy lately.. I think I know the reason for it, though.
I'm feeling slightly better about myself.. Which is good, because for a while there I just wanted to disappear.
Jason and I have a photo enlarger and dark room chemicals to print our own photos. And I'm kinda proud to say that last night, I followed one of my photographs from the beginning to the end! I took the picture myself.. I developed the film myself.. then printed the photo myself! That's really awesome. It's pretty exciting.
I don't know if I said it earlier, but him and I have gotten into photography for something that we can share/have in common.
We still have a little difficulty meshing our personal ways of dealing with things. I get emotional and hard on myself, and he's gung-ho 'let's take care of this _now_' His method is fantastic for him, and I'd like to emulate it a bit. But only a bit! I have to find a reasonable way to manage stress and highly-emotive situations without totally freaking out, and still being true to myself.
That's something complicated! How to stay true to myself.. I feel like while I don't like to change things, I'm a highly adaptive person. Meh. Such struggles in life.
What're you going to do about it? ~+.+~ Life's a rollar coaster.. and I know when I look back, I'll be happy that I've been in bad times and in good times.
luvs
And I'm happy to say that things have taken a step up! There are twinges of things that I said in the previous post still happening.. but over all, we're doing much better.
I've been super aggravated and antsy lately.. I think I know the reason for it, though.
I'm feeling slightly better about myself.. Which is good, because for a while there I just wanted to disappear.
Jason and I have a photo enlarger and dark room chemicals to print our own photos. And I'm kinda proud to say that last night, I followed one of my photographs from the beginning to the end! I took the picture myself.. I developed the film myself.. then printed the photo myself! That's really awesome. It's pretty exciting.
I don't know if I said it earlier, but him and I have gotten into photography for something that we can share/have in common.
We still have a little difficulty meshing our personal ways of dealing with things. I get emotional and hard on myself, and he's gung-ho 'let's take care of this _now_' His method is fantastic for him, and I'd like to emulate it a bit. But only a bit! I have to find a reasonable way to manage stress and highly-emotive situations without totally freaking out, and still being true to myself.
That's something complicated! How to stay true to myself.. I feel like while I don't like to change things, I'm a highly adaptive person. Meh. Such struggles in life.
What're you going to do about it? ~+.+~ Life's a rollar coaster.. and I know when I look back, I'll be happy that I've been in bad times and in good times.
luvs
The layout of these quiz thingys is all messed up.. and I don't want to mess with the html. I pulled these from my myspace page.
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Green
You have green eyes. Green is the color of balance. Your eyes symbolize your ever need to learn. Green brings peace and harmony into our lives, as you may be a very optimistic person. At times you may be placid, lethargic, lazy, and slow, to the point of becoming moody and depressed. You may also be apathetic and have a fear of rejection. Do not feel bad though, for what you may lack, you can make up for in your ability to heal and bring hope to people. Some words to describe you: growth, fertility, harmony, healing, refreshing, peaceful, contentment, satisfaction, confidence, prosperous, hopeful, lucky, and beautiful.Take the quiz: "What kind of eyes do you have? (with pictures)"
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Who's Your 80's Heartthrob? Take This Quiz :-)
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discover what candy you are @ quiz me
| a Ninja You scored 11 Honor, 6 Justice, 4 Adventure, and 2 Individuality! |
You are a soldier of the night. You rely on no more than your cunning and your repuation to strike fear in the hearts of lord and peasant alike. You've a sense of honor, but one that comes from within, not imposed from outside. Black clothes and shuriken for you. You're gonna do just fine. |
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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| Link: The Cowboy-Ninja-Pirate-Knight Test written by fluffy71 on Ok Cupid |
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Green
You have green eyes. Green is the color of balance. Your eyes symbolize your ever need to learn. Green brings peace and harmony into our lives, as you may be a very optimistic person. At times you may be placid, lethargic, lazy, and slow, to the point of becoming moody and depressed. You may also be apathetic and have a fear of rejection. Do not feel bad though, for what you may lack, you can make up for in your ability to heal and bring hope to people. Some words to describe you: growth, fertility, harmony, healing, refreshing, peaceful, contentment, satisfaction, confidence, prosperous, hopeful, lucky, and beautiful.Take the quiz: "What kind of eyes do you have? (with pictures)"
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| Your Kissing Purity Score: 31% Pure |
 You're not one to kiss and tell... But word is, you kiss pretty well. |
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| Your Outrageous Name Is |
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Your Scent is MangoSultry, sweet, and mellow You enjoy every moment of life! What Scent Are You? Take This Quiz :-) |  |
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| Your Capricorn Drinking Style |
 But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. You are the true rock star. Independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, you're not too eager to please. And if you make money being yourself, who is anyone to quibble? But just like most rock stars, you're either totally on or totally off... And you generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if you can hook up with a cute groupie. |
| Your Signature Cocktails |
| Old-fashioned Capricorns like an old-fashioned just fine or a dry martini, or a gin and tonic, or a gimlet -- or any other no-nonsense quaff. You prefer drinks that taste like alcohol and generally hate drinks with more than three ingredients. However, you like the flavor of cranberry and will order a cosmo if you can handle the wait for it to get mixed. |
| Your Celebrity Drinking Buddies |
| Orlando Bloom, Kate Moss, Jude Law. Marilyn Manson, Dolly Parton, Howard Stern, Kirstie Alley, and Rush Limbaugh. |
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| Your 80s Heartthrob Is |
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Your Element is WoodYour power colors: green and brown Your energy: generative Your season: spring Like a tree, you are always growing and changing. And while your life is dynamic, you are firmly grounded. You have high morals and great confidence in yourself and others. You have a wide set of interests, and you make for intersting company. What Element Are You? |
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Star Wars Horoscope for Capricorn |
 You have a ton of ambition and inexhaustible desire to reach your goals. You are very loyal, going to great lengths to help someone out. You are a very social unit, winning the hearts of many with your cute personality. Star wars character you are most like: R2D2 |
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discover what candy you are @ quiz me
----- Your Aura is BlueYour Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart. You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone. Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor. What Color Is Your Aura? Take This Quiz :-) |  |
